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These are the stories of the war in Mrs. Norwid's class at the beginning of the 2000 - 2001 school year. It contains graphic content, including the word blood sometimes twice in one sentence blood.
Part I
A long, long time ago, at the beginning of the eighth grade school year, in a classroom far, far away in the studio, a war raged between the allied powers and the bad... people. The allied powers were made up of Chris, Taryn, Bryce, Ashley, Ryan, and Joe. Their foes were Masa, Justin, Kevin, Will and Chase. Battles consisted of K'Nex guns used to fling K'Nex across the room.
"Doh!" Ryan screamed as a piece of K'Nex hit his arm.
"Man Down! Man Down!" Joe yelled to Bryce and Ashley, the Battlefield nurses. They quickly patched him up, ducking under the gunfire above their heads.
Part II
Their hastily made rubber band guns were quickly running short on ammunition. On a desperate move, Chris took a handful of ammo and trekked across the room in search of the box of ammo. It was all the way on the other side! Hiding beneath tables, chairs, and the ruins of projects he dodged the bad people's fire. Unloading several rounds beforehand, he quickly gathered the ammunition in his pockets. He went so far as to stuff his oversized pants with them. Then he made his way back to the other side, where is allies were.
"Hey guys, I got more..." he started to say, but was cut off by three rounds from Kevin, which ripped through his chest. He fell to the ground, blood surrounding his body...
Part III
"NO!!!" Ashley screamed as she watched Chris fall to the ground and the blood pool around his body. She grabbed her gun and ran to Chris' side. "Die you bastard!!!" she screamed at Kevin as she shot him over and over, turning his body into a mashed pulp. She ran back to Chris and cried by his side.
"What the hell is going on back there?" Mrs. Norwid asked, putting down her cell phone. "I mean heck!"
Part IV
As things settled back down, and Mrs. Norwid went back to her conversation with her cell phone, the allies went back on regular patrols. Ashley held her head low, still shaken by her fallen friend. She admired his bravery, he died saving the lives of his friends by giving them enough ammo to last a month, not to mention the food his body would give them. As the they mourned Chris' death, Justin placed a shrine dedicated to Kevin on Mrs. Norwid's back desk. Once he was done drawing the penis jacking off, he put Kevin's name under it.
Part V
On regular patrol Monday, Bryce noticed something strange. The enemy was nowhere to be seen. A sneak attack, she thought. She quickly went back to their base at the round table and warned the others. Suddenly bad people popped out of nowhere—from behind chairs, desks, and projects. A fierce battle ensued. It lasted nearly ten minutes, with Ashley and Ryan wounded, and Bryce dead. It ended with Mrs. Norwid yelling, "Goddamnit! Will you all sit down you... ah... silly gooses!"
Part VI
"We need to end this war, before it stretches on for years!" Taryn told the group. They had been fighting only two days, but it already seemed like two... days. But still, that's a long time for a middle schooler.
"I have what we need to end this war," Joe told them in a low voice. He unveiled a rifle-like rubber band gun made from a meter stick. "It's a sniper rifle. Very accurate at great distances.
"No, no, no!" Mrs. Norwid yelled into her cell phone, "He ran into ME giving KRASNER head, not the other way around!"
Part VII
BAM!!! The test fire of Joe's new weapon echoed across the room and hit the mark on the wall.
"Wow, that IS accurate!" Ashley remarked.
"Now it's time to try it out on the enemy..." Joe smiled. He aimed at Justin's head sticking out over the table. KA-WAP!!! The paper clip went into Justin's head, sticking out of his forehead. Blood dripped down his face as he fell to the ground.
"Holy shit!" Masa yelled as he looked at Justin's body.
"Hey!" Mrs. Norwid screamed as she put down her cell phone, "I'm the only here allowed to say that!"
Part VIII
"Joe's got a new gun!" Masa sat stunned with the body of Justin at his feet. "I've gotta stop him!" He charged towards Joe at full speed. Joe was still reloading and fumbling around. Just as he reloaded and got a shot off, Masa hit the rifle and sent the paper clip off course. They both watched it as it sailed through the air. KER-PLOP!!! The paper clip landed in Mrs. Norwid's head, just above her right ear. The cell phone dropped to the ground. Slowly, as if taking hours at a time, she fell to her knees, then crumpled over. Mrs. Norwid was dead.
"What should we do now?" Ashley asked the group of people that had gathered around her body.
"Let's poke her with a stick!" Joe suggested. And that was how the great Nor-War ended, with a bunch of her students too interested in poking her body rather than fighting. The moral of the story is, "To find peace, kill the person that both sides hate."
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