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Joe is a 15 year old High School Sophomore who attends Lakewood High School in Florida. He is considered weird by just about all of his friends, but that's definitly justified. He's known to be a loud-mouthed dork who thinks he has the answer for everything (which he does). He get reasonably good grades and is in the Center for Advanced Technologies at his school. He is also on the Golf Team and CATCOM (the school morning news show).
He is an Atheist and absolutely anti-racist. He hates people who make fun of other people because of their skin color or religion. He enjoys the phrase, "Go burn on your own cross, ya damn bastard racist." You may notice that some of his jokes might offend some people. These are not intentional and don't mean any harm.
Being an Atheist, some friends at school realized that Joe didn't have a God. So, someone suggested that he be his own God. So, now he's the God of Atheists. He had several followers and several traditions by his first week of being a God, which can't be said by all Gods. Being that there is no prayer in Atheism, his followers must pee in the direction of Joe. That means the toilets must be turned to face Florida no matter where in the world they're located.
The best qualities of Joe are very simple. He uses his humorous stupidity to his advantage in creating comedy. This is what will, one day, make him a big star on the public television channel. He is also quite good at talking in the third person, like he is doing now. How he does it is a mystery, but what he gains is very clear: that stuff that famous people gain.
The best things in life to Joe are sex, sex, education, and sex. Why would God be so interested in sex, education and sex, you may ask? Well, it's just like if you asked a humming bird to stop humming, or not. I mean, really, what is better than sex and learning the best ways to have it? I don't know, and I don't wanna know.
This is the most evil creature that walks on four legs. He may look cute, but don't be fooled. He will chew anything. I was once eating dinner when he walked up to the coffee table all innocently. He sniffed for a little while, and then grabbed a tube of chap-stick sitting on it and ran. It took me 10 minutes to get ALL of it back. He also pesters the dog below. No, not me, the other dog. Checkers is three times Bandit's size, yet Bandit always tortures him. He jumps and bites Checker's whiskers and his tail. And when Checkers fights back, Bandit only attacks more violently. It's a no-win situation for Checkers.
This dog isn't as bad as Evil, but that doesn't make him good. When I'm trying to save him from Bandit, Checkers only bites me. I swear to Joe, that dog never knows a good thing if it saved his fucking life.
Always saving the best for last, this is Joe at his best. Mask, what mask? That's without all that makeup that Kira & Bela enjoy putting on him at lunch. It burns his skin, because it's so sensitive. His beautition told him that he should only use Covergirl, and Bela's compact is Revlon. I swear, they could ruin his beautiful face.
So, if you have any questions for this master of masters, email him at regoodstuff@hotmail.com.
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